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Klezmer Mongrels

by Geoff Berner

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1.
Shut In 05:48
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All the suffering, all the suffering all the suffering in the world Shouldn't make you think that coming out to drink with me is wrong. There's some people who will tell you it's a waste of time and money-- Hypocrites! They spend their workday wasting beauty all day long. Sitting in your home with your electrical devices, Do you really think that that's a life that suffices? Say that you are trying to avoid a crisis-- You're already in one! Shut in, shut in, shut in, shut in, The time to come is gonna be the test of us. Shut in, shut in, shut in, Come out and suffer with the rest of us. Too young, too old, too ugly, too fucked up, To be out her drinking at the bar? Excuse me, Sunshine, what did you think The rest of us are out here drinking for? Did you know the declaration of the Rights of Man Was written after 5 hours drinking at the tavern They drank 7 barrels of beer and wine, And 9 casks of brandy, and then they got to work. Shut in, shut in, shut in, shut in, The sin of despair happens to the best of us. Shut in, shut in, shut in, shut in, Come out and suffer with the rest of us. Now this next verse is just a list of bars that I have drunk in Some are dead and some are living, in my life I've loved them all. The Menagerie Belfast, Green Dragon Croydon Black Dog Edmonton Black Sheep in Wakefield, Gastown, where the Elephant was Cruel, Times Change(d) Winnipeg, the Clown and Bard of course, in Prague, 1000 Fryd in Aalborg, Evening Star in Brighton by the Sea. Church of the Holy Chicken, Cumberland, and Logan's Tavern of the Damned Victoria—it's all just poetry to me. Mir and MONO, both in Oslo, planet Kensington in old punk Toronto, Montreal, it's the Casa Del Popolo Cafe Opera, Cafee Burger, Feinkost Lampe, Vega, Strega, Reitschule Patronaat El Lokal Cementen and my home, at home The Railway Club-- Shut in, shut in, shut in, shut in, I know you probly think I sound ridiculous Shut in, shut in, shut in, shut in Come on out and suffer with the rest of us. Shut in, shut in, shut in, shut in, Can't you see I'm trying to make a hornet's nest of us? Shut in, shut in, shut in, shut in, Come out and suffer with the rest of us.
2.
Luck in Exile 03:36
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3.
The Whiskey 03:46
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When the matchmaker came to my grandfather To try to arrange a match between my father and mother They talked and they talked, but they could not agree, Till someone produced a bottle of whiskey. They drank and they sang and they danced and they reeled, And when they woke up in the morning the deal was sealed. At the wedding, the couple was shy but fortunately, There was an open bar with plenty of whiskey. And so that’s the reason for my insistence That whiskey’s responsible for my very existence. Cause they drank and they danced and they suddenly knew What a young couple is supposed to do. In the beginning, at my circumcision Everybody drank like Russians. So in the end, when I return to the land Be sure to bury me with a bottle in my hand. Cause when it’s time to get judged on the Judgement Day I know I'm gonna need a whiskey right away.
4.
Half German Girlfriend 01:58
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She's the girl I love the most, I lured her out here to the coast, I know it's not my place to boast, But she's the best and she Is my Half German Girlfriend, Half German Girlfriend, Half German Girlfriend, And I love her so. The Nazi and the Orthodox Jew Would both be disgusted if they knew About the dirty things we do, On that they would agree. She's my Half German Girlfriend, Half German Girlfriend, Half German Girlfriend, And I love her so Half of German culture is divine, And I guess we'll breed the rest all out in time. Our Mongrel children will go forth, Proving their superior worth, The miscegenated will inherit the earth, Destroying purity. (Whee!) Half German Girlfriend, Half German Girlfriend, Half German Girlfriend, And I love her so, Never never gonna let her go, Oh no, Cause you and I know That you and I know That I'm a lucky little so and so, Uh-oh.
5.
King of the Gangsters 03:37
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To live outside the law, you must be vicious, To live inside you must depend upon the viciousness of strangers. Of the Odessa thugs, Benya was most ambitious, He had a warm, close intimate relationship with danger. He was the king, the king, the king, He was the king of the gangsters. The new Odessa chief of police Said "at his sister's wedding, I will bring young Benya down." By coincidence, during the feast, Somebody burned the new Odessa Police Station to the ground. He was the king, the king, the king, He was the king of the gangsters. The Goyim always said they were afraid Of the Jews, but they act different when it's actually true. He turned every funeral into a parade, We were proud of Benya even when he robbed us too. He was the king, the king, the king, He was the king of the gangsters. In his red sash, he swaggered through the marketplace, With a pretty ghetto girlie and his Turkish cutlass. The Red Army shot him in the face, So they could build a brand new world, without crime or injustice. He was the king, the king, the king, He was the king of the gangsters.
6.
No Tobacco 04:18
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I'm from the warm, wet, west coast of Canada Where growing conditions are ideal For a certain kind of plant you know With a certain kind of way to feel. If they ever enforced the law out here The business men would dress in rags Cause it's our number one industry And when exports fail, the capital sags. We're so proud that B.C. Weed Relaxes you with just one hit. That is why you don't need Anything to mix with it To give it a kick That extra kick So please don't put tobacco in it, Please don't put tobacco in it, It makes me cough, It makes me cough. Take a look at those Turkish girls They dance on the floor, they bump and sway. You can see how a once-great empire might Fall down in to sweet decay. Sweet decay, sweet decay, The Sultan smokes his cares away. Sweet decay, sweet decay, “We'll mend those wall another day But please don't put tobacco in it, Please don't put tobacco in it, It makes me cough, It makes me cough. So after the show if you've got something on you, You would like to share with me, Now that you have heard my song you Surely must be fair with me. If it's brown, we can smoke it on a pin, Or ruin the knives, like when we were kids, But if it's weak and it needs some help, Frankly I'd rather just not bother. Please don't put tobacco in it, Please don't put tobacco in it, It makes me cough, It makes me cough.
7.
Play, Gypsy, Play 04:13
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Play, Gypsy, play, I really love the way That you irritate the hell Out of the Europeans today, Play, play, play, gypsy play. I love to watch them marching by, They hear your accordion, and they sigh, As if you were somehow impeding them On their busy, important, way, Play, play, play, Gypsy play. The women voice concern for your kids, That's when the sentiment hits, “Why can't they be sewing my socks, “Like the children in Bombay?” Play, play, play, Gypsy play. They love to mine your endless glamour, But they don't visit you in the slammer, Liberte, egalite, frat ha ha ha ternite, Play, play, play, Gypsy play. Play, Gypsy, play, I really love the way That you irritate the hell Out of the Europeans today, Play, Gypsy, play, And the looks they give you betray More than any monument to the Holocaust Could ever say. Play, play, play, Gypsy, play.
8.
Authentic Klezmer Wedding Band 02:52
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If a happy occasion is imminent, Folk festival or corporate event, Funeral or circumcision, I don't want to unduly influence your decision, but Chorus: This authentic klezmer wedding band is for hire, This authentic klezmer wedding band is for hire, Ready to embody the cultural values To which you aspire, This authentic klezmer wedding band is for hire. We know how you like your World Music-- Mysterious and vaguely erotic. You don't wanna know the meaning of the lyric-- That just makes it less exotic! Chorus. What if this was 1923? Oh, how wonderful that would be! If you come to my history class, I'll teach you the Yiddish for "Kiss my ass!“ Chorus.
9.
One Shoe 04:11
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He came to the door with a folder of prints Familiar cliches, traditional motifs He said I've got to do the feathers and the wolves for the money People eat them up but I've got some here that come from my life A rusted car, a school fight, got my girlfriend to pose for two days, It's called Patience after the Guns and Roses song And this one is called One Shoe Neil Stonechild was frozen on the edge of Saskatoon 12 years ago And now the body and the case have been exhumed It's come to light that in the dead of winter nights, cold and remote The Saskatoon police have taken men on one way rides Police Chief quote: It's happened more than once. We fully admit that On behalf of the department I want to apologize And we must take ownership of the things that have Transpired Neil was 17, in a group home for B and E Was in AA but had been drinking on the night He and Jason rang some bells, knocked on doors Looking for a friend The cops were called, the boys split up 15 minutes later Jason saw Neil handcuffed and bleeding In the back of the cruiser Screaming, looking scared- Help me, they're going to kill me One shoe Neil's body was discovered five days later on the outskirts Jason gave two statements to police but they weren't taken The death deemed accidental The official version being that Neil Stonechild was on his way to Turning himself in To an adult penitentiary At minus 28 degrees With one shoe. An inquiry was launched twelve years later After Rodney Naistus froze to death and Lawrence Wegner froze to death and Lloyd Dustyhorn froze to death and Darryl Night nearly did, but lived to prove Abduction and abandonment was common practice Still, the original case files concerning Neil Were destroyed in renovations RCMP investigations Failed to find evidence for prosecution So in a cloud of suspicion, The hearings start October Neil's mother just wants closure One Shoe Neil Stonechild was a wrestler and a painter and I think he would have liked this one He must have lost it running He should have tied the laces It symbolizes something Mistakes, getting chased, empty spaces One Shoe, one shoe, one shoe
10.
High Ground 04:47
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Wealthy people like to live, live near the water, They’ll pass their real estate down to the their sons and their daughters. Generations of happy, just enjoying the view, But when the waters start rising, you know what they’re gonna do: The Rich will move to the high ground. The Rich will move to the high ground. Oh, oh, look at your town, The Rich will move to the high ground. All those singers and actors and philanthropists Say the poor are at the top of their priority list, But when the levees start breaking, and the barriers fall, Where will they be when we come to pay a courtesy call? With their mistresses, wives, pets, children and all, At the top of a hill, behind a fortified wall. The Rich will move to the high ground. The Rich will move to the high ground. Oh, oh, look at your town, The Rich will move to the high ground. With every sad number that the scientists find, You get the feeling that some people really don’t mind To see a new feudal age for the whole human race, Cause the rabble will finally be all back in their place. There’ll be no revolution, we’ll be weak as wet mouses, Begging them to let our children serve in their houses. The Rich will move to the high ground. The Rich will move to the high ground. Oh, oh, look at your town, The Rich will move to the high ground.
11.
Fukher 02:44
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A fan in Yiddish means Fukher. So every time you get too hot, Fuckher. What a feeling somehow when you Fukher-- At the Sidetrack, I could always find a Fukher. I'm so hot, hot hot I need a Fukher... If there's a heatwave, Why should you suffer? Everyone should have a handy Fukher Did you hear about a robber name of Buffer? He held up 40 banks, The motherfukher. I'm so hot, hot, hot I need a Fukher... If a Fukher's too strong, It'll blow you away. Don't Fukher too much-- Maybe 3 times a day. But when it's 98 degrees, And there's hardly a breeze... Don't be a shmuck! Get yourself a Fukher. I'm so hot, hot, hot, I need a Fukher...

credits

released January 25, 2009

Vocals and accordion: Geoff Berner
Percussion and vocals: Wayne Adams
Violin and vocals: Diona Davies

Recorded and Mixed by: Wayne Adams
at P.D. Paddy Podey Productions, Vancouver, Canada

Mastered by: Craig Waddel
at Gotham City Studios, Vancouver, Canada

All songs, words and music by: Geoff Berner, unless otherwise stated.

This Album is dedicated to my children, (in order of appearance): Genevieve, Margot and Joseph.

Geoff Berner thanks: Benny Braaten, Margot Berner, Gevevieve Buechner, Joseph Zeidler-Berner, Sarge Berner, Nancy Berner, Carolyn Mark, Kris Demeanor, The Realones, Stuart Duncan, Helen Spitzer, Kesten Media, Jason Webley, Dave Lang, Carmaig De Forest, Bob Cohen, Fumie Suzuki, Dugg Simpson, The Cathedral Quarter Arts Festival, Jack Schuller, Peter Jenner, Mushi Jenner, NQ Arbuckle, Deb Dilworth, The Be Good Tanyas, Corb Lund, Siobhan Ryan, The Black Sheep Inn, janet Forsyth, Kaizers Orchestra (band AND crew), Michelle Beda, Stuart Parker, Tanya Taqaq, Neil Woodcock, Carol Whinnom, Colleen Weaver, Russel Joyce, Justin Newall, Sean Kelly, Dom Lloyd, Bob Wiseman, Dan Kahn and the Painted Bird, Josh Dolgin, Ariadne Bechthold, Angela Teistler, Karin Feusi, Martti Maakkelaa and the good people at CCEC Credit Union.

And, as always, a special thanks to Cameron Noyes, who believed that this whole thing would work long before anybody else.

Wayne Adams thanks: Meghan, my family, the folks at my other job, GS.

Diona Davies thanks: all her muses.

Painting by: Kelly Haigh. Layout and Design by: Richard Chapman
Photos: Gerald Deo. Emergency Medical Response Team: Karina Zeidler

Geoff Berner acknowledges the support of the Music Section of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Canada Music Fund.

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Geoff Berner Vancouver, British Columbia

Singer / songwriter / accordionist / novelist Geoff Berner's music combines klezmer, punk, political satire and Balkan dance rhythms. He writes sharp, literate songs that make you want to weep, laugh, grind your teeth, or kick out a window - often all at the same time. Having built a cult following with his weirdly compelling stage presence, G.B. has a strange ability to create fun chaos. ... more

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