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The Wedding Dance of the Widow Bride

by Geoff Berner

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1.
Good Luck Now 02:11
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I´m internationally recognized As a really, really lucky guy. Everybody knows that I´m The Lucky Goddamn Jew. But every since my big success It´s tragic, but I must confess, I´m under just a tonne of stress! I don´t know what to do. Cause Everybody wants a piece of my, Everybody wants a piece of my, Everybody wants a piece of my, Good luck now. Commoners and royalty Try to sidle up alongside of me And whisper confidentially, "Could you rub your luck on mine?" And recently I have been spoke Of as a possible future Pope, Africa looks to me with hope, They´ll have to wait in line. Cause Everybody wants a piece of my, Everybody wants a piece of my, Everybody wants a piece of my, Good luck now. Seems like everywhere I go Everybody wants to know How´d someone like me get so Lucky "you little jerk". The questions of these idiots Are all so inconvenient, Specially when I´m trying to forget That luck had anything to do with it. It was all hard work. (And clean living.) Everybody wants a piece of my, Everybody wants a piece of my, Everybody wants a piece of my, Good luck now.
2.
Weep, Bride, Weep 05:55
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Weep, Bride, Weep, Now your girlhood is over, and your womanhood lies stretched out before you, Weep, Bride, Weep, Like a dull, grey matronly corpse on the coroner’s slab. Weep, Bride, Weep, Nothing but the horrifying agony of childbirth for you to look forward to now, Weep, Bride, Weep, While the melodies of yesterday’s parties echo sadly in the past. Weep, Bride, Weep, Now I’m sorry but it’s time for me to talk about the subject of your husband: Weep, Bride, Weep, I guess you think he’s pretty cute and pretty smart, and maybe even pretty Deep. Well Weep, Bride, Weep, ‘Cause he’s a closeted Marxist, who thinks that marriage is state prostitution, Weep, Bride, Weep, So sometimes you’ll have to fuck him just to get him to shut up and go to sleep. Weep, Bride, Weep, But not too hard—we can’t have you collapsing out of sheer desolation, Weep, Bride, Weep, We need you functionally depressive, so you’ll still get up and drive the kids to class. Weep, Bride, Weep, At least tonight your father’s buying all of the liquid consolation, And the musicians Will enjoy the bridesmaids In the ass. Weep, Bride, Weep.
3.
Widow Bride 05:07
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My son you have been so unwise, You forgot to ask for my advice. If you want to have a happy life, Get yourself a widow bride. Cause a widow bride has everything Her husband couldn´t take with him, And a widow bride knows how to do Things you don´t know how to teach her to. If you want a happy life, Get yourself a widow bride. King David was a horny king. He saw a subject that he was interested in. But her husband was a soldier fine, So he put him at the front of the battle line. And the new queen, she had everything Her husband couldn´t take with him. The new queen, she knew how to do Things you don´t know how to teach her to. If you want a happy life, Get yourself a widow bride. My great grandfather was seduced By Victoria and the language that she used. She said "I´m looking for a strong young man To match up with these virgin lands." She said that they were virgin lands. But Saskatchewan had everything Her husband couldn´t take with him. Saskatchewan knew how to do Things you don´t know how to teach her to. If you want a happy life, Get yourself a widow bride.
4.
Queen Victoria 03:15
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Queen Victoria, My father and all his tobacco loved you, I love you too in all your forms, The slim and lovely virgin floating among German beer, The mean governess of the huge pink maps, The solitary mourner of a prince. Queen Victoria, I am cold and rainy, I am dirty as a glass roof in a train station, I feel like an empty cast iron exhibition, I want ornaments on everything, Because my love, she gone with other boys. Queen Victoria, Do you have a punishment under the white lace, Will you be short with her, will you make her read those little Bibles, Will you spank her with a mechanical corset. I want her pure as power, I want her skin slightly musty with petticoats Will you wash the easy bidet out of her head? Queen Victoria, I'm not much nourished by modern love, Will you come into my life With your sorrow and your black carriages, And your perfect Memories. Queen Victoria, The Twentieth Century belongs to you and me. Let us be two severe giants not less lonely for our partnership, Who discolor test tubes in the halls of Science, Who turn up unwelcome at every World's Fair, Heavy with proverbs and corrections, Confusing the star-dazed tourists With our incomparable sense of loss.
5.
The Fiddler is a Good Woman 04:23
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The Fiddler Is A Very Good Woman She can drink more than any man. She threw up in her bed last night, But in the morning she was fine. In the morning she was fine, In the morning she was fine. In the morning she was fine, The Fiddler Is A Very Good Woman Of Sitting Bull’s line she’s born. The blood that runs through her finger tips Won the battle of the Little Big Horn. Won the battle of the Little Big Horn, Won the battle of the Little Big Horn, Where Custer’s hair was shorn. The Fiddler Is A Very Good Woman So rough but pleasing on the strings, I hear she’s just as pleasing, girls, On other little things, On other little things, On other little things, On other little things. The Fiddler Is A Very Good Woman Her face is sharp but fair, The Gypsy girl took her to her husband’s grave, And then she kissed her there, And then she kissed her there, And then she kissed her there, And then she kissed her there. The Fiddler Is A Very Good Woman, We sat in the sun on the village hill, Where the children picked wild strawberries, And I can taste them still. And I can taste them still, And I can taste them still, And I can taste them still.
6.
Traitor Bride 03:22
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An occupied town Is like a prisoner who is bound To fight and curse against the shackles that bind. You are not supposed to pour A cup of tea for a poor Cold, homesick soldier from the wrong side. She said, “Can’t you see, His eyes are steady and his face is kind— He was pressed into service against his will. I don’t care what they say I will go to him still,” The soldier from the wrong side. What do you think was said When she screamed and she pled After her mother found the drawer with the letters inside, “Oh, you foolish little girl, Nothing good can befall Love with a soldier from the wrong side.” She tried to run and warn him, But her brothers barred the door, And out into the darkness they did ride, She was too late, too late to save him Lieing face up in the rain, The soldier from the wrong side. She said, “Can’t you see, His eyes are steady and his face is kind— He was pressed into service against his will. I don’t care what they say I will go to him still,” The soldier from the wrong side. And when they shaved her head, Dressed her in mocking white and led Her through the streets as a traitor bride, It was plain for all to see, She’d long since joined the company Of the soldier from the wrong side.
7.
Can't Stay Dry 02:38
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She was a pink haired girl from Calgary, She flew across the mountains to see what she could see. She never imagined how much fun it would be To get dragged into the flooded gutter with me. You try, you try, but you can´t stay dry. In a raging torrent, or a tiny little mist, The water gets into everything that exists. It hits the condominiums like a hundred thousand fists, Smashing the dreams of the materialists, Who try, they try but they can´t stay dry. On the surface that river is so calm and brown, But it´s really full of cancer and it wants to drag you down. We ought to dam it but we´re gonna have to face The fact it´s the only reason anybody lives here in the first place. We try, we try but we can´t stay dry.
8.
Song to Reconcile 03:20
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This is the song to reconcile The parents of the bride with the parents of the groom. They're eyeing each other suspiciously, Each on opposite sides of the room. We've got to get them together We've got to get them together, We've got to get them together, Don't You Know? It's true that there's some history Between the families, A small matter of real estate unresolved. Then of course there's the even smaller matter Of the baby's brains, dashed against the wall. We've got to get them together We've got to get them together, We've got to get them together, Don't You Know? Oh, can't they see, humanity Is really one big family It doesn't matter who,s to blame, When after all, we're all the same, Except for vastly divergent views of History, Geography, And possibly even the Purpose of human life of Earth... This is the song to reconcile The parents of the groom with the parents of the bride They're fingering their pockets suspiciously Each still on the opposite side. We've got to get them together We've got to get them together, We've got to get them together, Oh, Oh, Oh. Well you don't have to love each other, but the band requests That all killing be suspended for the duration of the event. Let's pray to God the human urge to have a good meal Get fucked up and fuck someone hot Is stronger than the human urge for revenge. Then maybe they'll get it together, Maybe they'll get it together, Maybe they'll piece it together, I'm just the accordion player, So I Don't Know.
9.
Would It Kill You? 03:06
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I’m contemplating An ultimatum, Alternating Between placating, And hating. Oh, would it kill you? Oh, would it kill you? Would it kill you? To love me enough To stay. So go on with your scheming Just don’t call it dreaming. Whyte Avenue’s gleaming— Is it so fleeting? Your words have no meaning. Oh, would it kill you? Oh, would it kill you? Would it kill you? To love me enough To stay. So go on and prattle, You’re planning for travel, The home front is a battle, But my friends won’t tattle On love’s death rattle.
10.
Weep, Bride, Weep (Instrumental) 04:32
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credits

released January 1, 2007

Voice and accordion: Geoff Berner
Percussion and vocals: Wayne Adams
Violin and vocals: Diona Davies

All songs, words and music by: Geoff Berner
except "Queen Victoria" by Leonard Cohen.

Recorded by: Wayne Adams
at the Factory in Vancouver, Canada.
Mixed by: Wayne Adams
at P.D. Paddy Podey Productions, Vancouver, Canada

Mastered by: Craig Waddell
at Gotham City Studios, Vancouver, Canada

Cover and layout by: Richard Chapman
Emergency Medical Response Team: Karina Zeidler

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Geoff Berner Vancouver, British Columbia

Singer / songwriter / accordionist / novelist Geoff Berner's music combines klezmer, punk, political satire and Balkan dance rhythms. He writes sharp, literate songs that make you want to weep, laugh, grind your teeth, or kick out a window - often all at the same time. Having built a cult following with his weirdly compelling stage presence, G.B. has a strange ability to create fun chaos. ... more

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