1. Swing a Chicken Three Times Over Your Head On my fortieth birthday, I woke up in Poland, (Accidentally) I looked around and thought, “I better keep on rollin’,” So we rolled right the fuck on outta Poland. Alright. Free Christiania, That’s where my birthday ended. My friends said “Where were you? “We couldn’t find you. “Why’re you bleeding?” So I said, As I bled, I’ve been swinging a chicken I’ve been swinging a chicken I’ve been swinging a chicken Three times Over my head. I hear that Superman’s a Jew, (Or at least an immigrant.) And Nosferatu, too, But what do they do When they screw Up so bad, It’s like a kryptonite magnet That is dragging them to their death bed? What do they do instead? They say If you need me… I’ll be swinging a chicken, I’ll be swinging a chicken, I’ve been swinging a chicken Three times over my head. If you do enough living, You’ll be faced with a decision Between committing a sin, And committing a different sin. Then You’ll want a shot at redemption. You want a shot at redemption? Don’t use a rubber chicken. Because then the sin Just bounces back in. Now you take it by each wing, And you sing. You sing: “Won’t you help me swing “This frightened chicken. “It’s all I ever had.” Swing that chicken one time! Swing that chicken two times! Swing that chicken three times! Alright! I’ve been swinging a chicken, I’ve been swinging a chicken, I’ve been swinging a chicken, Three times over my head.

2. Dance and Celebrate! As some of you know, I was raised a Jew And actually I remain one, too. There are many reasons, they are not few. I’ll tell my favourite one to you: It’s not what you think—it’s what you do. So what does that mean? It means when I’ve lost all the battles and I’m feeling low, There’s an emotional place that I can go. Does my God judge me for going there? No. I’ll tell you what it is and I’ll start…real…sloooooooowwww… Let’s dance and celebrate The misfortunes of people we hate, It feels strange at first, but wait— Once you get it, You got it, And then you feel great! When there’s people killing children in my name, And my guts are churning with the horror and the shame, It soothes me to contemplate— So let’s dance and celebrate. For example: Old Joe Stalin for some reason thought That there was some kind of Jewish Doctors’ Plot, So he had some of them exiled, And the rest of them shot. He wanted no Jewish doctors, and that’s exactly what he got. Ok right, well, Here is the part where we come to the joke, ‘Cause that’s when he had a massive stroke. People said “What’s wrong, Joe?” but he never spoke. A brain specialist might have helped him, But he’d gone up in smoke. Let’s dance and celebrate The misfortunes of people we hate, It feels odd at first, but wait--- Once you get it, You got it, And then you feel great! Oh, schadenfreude needs no translation, So I guess I’ll take it as a reparation, I’ll take it out on a date, Where we’ll dance and celebrate. When my girlfriend is acting all detached, And it feels like there’s no way to re-attach her, It helps me to reflect upon The pathetic decline of Margaret Thatcher. Ariel Sharon! Ariel Sharon! His death lingered on and on. Ariel Sharon! Ariel Sharon! His death lingered on and on. And on, and on, and on and on and on. Supercalimagilisticexpeetalimocious I hope that Stephen Harper dies of muscular sclerosis In a Northern Ontario First Nations Reservation Health centre! Or just a ditch. Let’s dance and celebrate The misfortunes of people we hate. It feels funny at first, but wait— Once you get it, You got it, And then you feel great! Oh bad things happen to good people, it’s true, But at least they also happen to assholes, too, Sometimes that’s all there is to consolate, So let’s dance and celebrate.

3.When DD Gets Her Donkey, Everything Will Be Alright I don’t know if you’ve noticed, But lately it seems to me Almost as if things are not running Exactly how they ought to be. It’s almost as if the falcon Can hear the falconer just fine, And the falconer’s telling the falcon To leave most of us to die. But before you start worrying, Scratching at your skin all night, Remember: When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright. When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright, When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright. There’s other people who have noticed Things are not quite right too. These people, they’re doing Almost everything that they can do. Some people are hoping For a real good revolution. Other people, they’re just hoping To die and go to Heaven. Revolutionaries in Heaven Eat at Schwartz’s, and fuck all night, And when DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright. When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright, When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright. The donkey will protect the chickens From the predators of this land, The polar bears shall all return To shake the donkey’s hand. The donkey will kick and bray And the children will evolve Into donkey-human creatures Full of intelligence and love. Humanity shall awaken From its long, idiotic night, Because when DD gets her donkey Everything will be alright. When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright, When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright. So get yourself a drink, And go and dance with a cutie. Luxuriate in the terror Of the violin’s risky beauty. And when it’s time to pass the hat At the end of the night, Remember: When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright. When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright, When DD gets her donkey, Everything will be alright. The donkey Is the fundamental key To making Everything Turn Out Right.

4. Condos My city has been in a housing crisis For fifteen years or more, Middle class families can’t afford to live here, And there’s a ten thousand dollar fine For being poor. They said if we let them build all these condo towers, The market would pull down the rent, Now we’ve got the most expensive city On the whole damn continent. Our Mayor says he wants Eco Density, And of course it’s a sin not to be Green, But when Mayor Happy Planet says Eco Density What does he really mean? He means Sunday, condos Monday, condos Tuesday and Wednesday Condos, Thursday, Friday, A few more condos, Saturday, for a change, Condos. What happened to a thousand culture buildings and counting? They knocked them down to build some condos. And the social housing on Little Mountain? Get rid of it! (We need more condos.) The Ridge, Richards, the Capital, That’s a special kind of condos— The kind of condos that you call After the thing that you knocked down to make the Sunday, condos Monday, condos Tuesday and Wednesday, Condos, Thursday, Friday, A few more condos Saturday, for a change, Townhouse condominiums. What’s the plan for the Georgia Viaduct? Well, they’re gonna knock it down and build some condos, And why’s the city four hundred million dollars on the hook? -----They’re fucked! They paid some guys to build Olympic condos. And what about the sacred burial site? Not as sacred as condos, Till the Musqueam Nation actually put up a fight, And that’s how you stop the condos. So what’s going to happen now, for God’s sake? Are we just going to let them build more condos? Or could there be a time when we finally put the brakes On Vancouver’s mad sickness for Sunday, condos Monday, condos Tuesday and Wednesday Condos, Thursday, Friday, A few more condos, Saturday, for a change, Market artist live/work studios.

5. Es Brent Berner verse: It’s burning, People, it’s burning. Can we at last agree now that it’s burning? At least we can stop wondering What it was like at the downfall of Berlin, Awaiting the fury of Nemesis Army While the radio tells us to carry on calmly, And you stand and look askance now, No one ever learns, And you stand with folded hands now, As all around you burns.

7. Thank You, No Thank You It seems we Jews have found some brand new friends. God knows we can use all we can get. I know you shouldn’t judge a person by their fashion sense, Or just because you think you smell something funny on their breath, But these new friends they are a special kind-- They used to say that we pollute their blood, and worse. They used to kind of hate us, until they changed their mind, They suspected that we were more skillful lovers (true of course). But now they march around their rallies With a Star of David in their hand They don’t even throw it in a bonfire at the end. I suppose we should be grateful now they hate some people more, I was raised to be polite, so I say “Thank you, nat- Zhonalist Scumbags For your support.” I say Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, But no thank you, No thank you, No thank you, No thank you, Thank you thank you thank you thank you A dank a dank a dank a dank A takka takka takka takka takka takka takka takka takka Boom. And then there are those Christians born again, You know they used to call us Christ-killers but now, The sons of Sherriff Clark were on the Road to Washington When they converted Izzruhl To their sacred cow, But it’s all just to serve their comic book of prophecy, You see For Jesus to return it is imperative that we Be the center of a war that will destroy the world entire, Then they’ll laugh and dance and sing as we fall, With the Six Million, Into their lake of fire, Singing, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, But no thank you, No thank you, No thank you, No thank you, Thank you thank you thank you thank you A dank a dank a dank a dank A takka takka takka takka takka takka takka takka takka Boom. Have you ever been invited to a party, You look around and think “I feel so wrong here,” and then You whisper to your soul, “Oh soul, where are we? “And why do all these assholes act like we belong here “With them?” And you think about what your mom said about The company you keep, You are lingering by the cheese dip, So depressed you wanna weep, Well maybe that’s the time when it is time to contemplate Why we’re getting so much love from all these people More famous For their ability To incinerate, And say Thank you Madame le Pen, Thank you, UKIP, Thank you Geert Wilders, But no thank you, No thank you, And Thank you, Mr. Blocher Thank you Siv Jensen Thank you Mr. Breivik, But no thank you, No thank you, And Thank you, Stephen Harper, Thank you, Sarah Palin, Thank you Netanyahu, But no thank you, No thank you, No thank you, No thank you, Thank you thank you thank you thank you A dank a dank a dank a dank A takka takka takka takka takka takka takka takka takka Boom.

8. When Chanukah Comes to Town Oh, Well, The Christians irritate us with their Christmass-ness, It seems like every year, And then the Pagans must remind us they invented this. Ok! We get it. It's clear. Jewish children saw the others open presents, It made them sad and blue. So their parents found a minor Jewish holiday, So they could open presents too. It's a tokenistic cultural compromise That depresses me with a sigh, But the little ones seem to like it, So I guess that that is why--- I-- 'm ambivalent about Chanukah When Chanukah comes around, The feeling's not a cute It's chronic of A thinking which is probably unsound. (UN-SOUND!) I don't mean to ruin the party, I'm sorry if I'm bringing you down. (Down, down) But I'm ambivalent about Chanukah, When Chanukah comes to town. Do you know the story of Chanukah? I wonder if you've ever known. Well, the Jews resisted Greek civilization, Till the Greeks just got tired and went home. A tradition of religious independence, Which we pass to the fruit of our loins, Or a festival of violent fanatics, Punctuated by chocolate coins? Like the glory of G-d's creation, At the start of a brand new day, Some times I could just take it or leave it, And that is why I say-- Hey! I'm ambivalent about Chanukah When Chanukah comes around, I reach for a great gin and tonic A Thinking which is probably unsound (UNSOUND!) It's not the shallow indifference of the atheist, It's more Spiritual and profound. I'm ambivalent about Chanukah, When Chanukah comes to town --You know I mean it!-- I'm ambivalent, It's not an equivalent, I know it's irrivalent, But oh well-- What the Hell.

9. I Don’t Feel So Mad at God When I See You In Your Summer Dress You know me— I’m one of those who Believe, But still I Shake my fist at the sky. Why couldn’t the Lord Have worked a little harder? Made me a little bit smarter? Made a little less murder? But I don’t feel so mad at God When I see you in your summer dress. Not so mad at God When I see you in your summer dress. Your summer dress Has been suspended In the winter closet, But now that’s ended. Now you’re swinging, And it is clinging, Oh God damn it Fits you perfect. I don’t feel so mad at God When I see you in your summer dress. Not so mad at God When I see you in your summer dress. When your hair was pink, I spent my last five bucks to buy you a drink, When your hair was blue, I crossed the Rockies in a K-Car to be with you, When your hair was black, You’d give Siousxie a jealous heart attack When your hair was brown, You turned me into slightly less of a clown, When your hair was blonde, (You prob’ly think I’m just gonna go on and on) Now there’s silver in the gold, Some days I’m even almost at peace with the old Bastard. I don’t feel so mad at God When I see you in your summer dress. Not so mad at God When I see you in your summer dress.

10. We Are On Our Way to Bremen We are on our way to Bremen-- That’s where we’re going to be musicians. People say we’re too used up to be allowed to live, But we’ve still got a caravan of fucks to give. And so we’re on our way— We’ll speak of Death another day, Let’s have a sacred feast With what we’ve stolen from the thieves. The Donkey does our fearless leading, Realism is something he’s not needing. People talk like they understand the world but they may find, When he kicks them in the head, it’s liable to change their mind. And so we’re on our way— We’ll speak of Death another day, Let’s have a sacred feast With what we’ve stolen from the thieves. The Rooster says he can predict the future, But actually, he’s just a rooster. If he could read his own entrails, he would see The comfort-giving chicken soup that is his destiny. And so we’re on our way— We’ll speak of Death another day, Let’s have a sacred feast With what we’ve stolen from the thieves. The Dog is full of moral confusion, But the Cat lives under no illusion. The Dog did his killing out of loyalty and for pay, But the Cat knows why he would have done it anyway. And we’re on our way, We’ll get there any day Now, Let’s have a sacred feast, With what we’ve stolen from the thieves. We are on our way to Bremen That’s where we shall become musicians. They’re going to make a statue of us in the square, To commemorate the fact that we were never there.