Rabbi Berner Finally Reveals His True Religious Agenda
from Victory Party by Geoff Berner
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lyrics
Ever since I have developed my
Cult following,
Everybody’s wanting to know,
What I’m gonna do with my
Cult following,
Where’m I gonna take it to go?
I’ve been waiting, and waiting,
With a kind of spiritual constipation,
I couldn’t let it go somehow.
But now the zeitgeist has shifted,
Objections have been lifted,
I’m feeling that the time is...
Now.
Are you ready? (Yes we’re ready!)
To hear all about it,
What G-d and I want you to know,
Are you ready? (Yes we’re ready!)
I really kind of doubt it,
But I’m gonna have to let it go.
The Bible is a mirror,
and G-d is on the other side.
So everything it tells you
is the opposite of what
He really wants you to decide,
It’s a test, it’s a test, it’s a spiritual test,
And the truth is only for the brave.
Now you’ve finally got a proper
Explanation
For all the crazy shit inside.
From Genocide to Revelation,
The logic can’t be denied.
Pillars of Fire! Pillars of salt,
Are the pillars on which rest my case,
Did you really think a perfect G-d Wants you to burn a goat?
Or nail the Messiah in place?
Are you ready (Yes we’re ready!)
To do what it will take,
What G-d and I want you to do,
Are you ready (Yes we’re ready!)
Every rule you’ve got to break,
To finally make Us proud of you?
(chorus)
Like a fossil, it’s a test of faith.
With all those rules and laws,
It’s enough to make you dizzy,
All the shit that you’ve got to do.
And in your modern lives,
I know you’re very busy,
So I’ve got a small proposal for you:
For a modest contribution,
I’ll save you the hassle
Of pleasing G-d all on your own,
But I’ll need liquor, women, shellfish,
And probably a castle,
Cause I don’t want to do it wrong.
I’m ready, I’m ready!
To get right down to working,
Working just as hard as can be,
I’m ready, I’m ready,
I know you were tired of searching,
So you just make the cheque out to me.
(chorus)
It’s a test, it’s a test, it’s a spiritual test,
And if you pass it,
It’s gonna save you from the grave!
It’s a test, it’s a test, it’s a spiritual test,
And if you pass it,
It’s gonna save you from the grave!
Cult following,
Everybody’s wanting to know,
What I’m gonna do with my
Cult following,
Where’m I gonna take it to go?
I’ve been waiting, and waiting,
With a kind of spiritual constipation,
I couldn’t let it go somehow.
But now the zeitgeist has shifted,
Objections have been lifted,
I’m feeling that the time is...
Now.
Are you ready? (Yes we’re ready!)
To hear all about it,
What G-d and I want you to know,
Are you ready? (Yes we’re ready!)
I really kind of doubt it,
But I’m gonna have to let it go.
The Bible is a mirror,
and G-d is on the other side.
So everything it tells you
is the opposite of what
He really wants you to decide,
It’s a test, it’s a test, it’s a spiritual test,
And the truth is only for the brave.
Now you’ve finally got a proper
Explanation
For all the crazy shit inside.
From Genocide to Revelation,
The logic can’t be denied.
Pillars of Fire! Pillars of salt,
Are the pillars on which rest my case,
Did you really think a perfect G-d Wants you to burn a goat?
Or nail the Messiah in place?
Are you ready (Yes we’re ready!)
To do what it will take,
What G-d and I want you to do,
Are you ready (Yes we’re ready!)
Every rule you’ve got to break,
To finally make Us proud of you?
(chorus)
Like a fossil, it’s a test of faith.
With all those rules and laws,
It’s enough to make you dizzy,
All the shit that you’ve got to do.
And in your modern lives,
I know you’re very busy,
So I’ve got a small proposal for you:
For a modest contribution,
I’ll save you the hassle
Of pleasing G-d all on your own,
But I’ll need liquor, women, shellfish,
And probably a castle,
Cause I don’t want to do it wrong.
I’m ready, I’m ready!
To get right down to working,
Working just as hard as can be,
I’m ready, I’m ready,
I know you were tired of searching,
So you just make the cheque out to me.
(chorus)
It’s a test, it’s a test, it’s a spiritual test,
And if you pass it,
It’s gonna save you from the grave!
It’s a test, it’s a test, it’s a spiritual test,
And if you pass it,
It’s gonna save you from the grave!
credits
from Victory Party,
released March 8, 2011
license
all rights reserved
tags
about
Geoff Berner Vancouver, British Columbia
Singer / songwriter / accordionist / novelist Geoff Berner's music combines klezmer, punk, political satire and Balkan dance rhythms. He writes sharp, literate songs that make you want to weep, laugh, grind your teeth, or kick out a window - often all at the same time. Having built a cult following with his weirdly compelling stage presence, G.B. has a strange ability to create fun chaos. ... more
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