LYRICS:

When I was a much younger man,
I went to the university.
I tried super hard to understand,
Until I had a big epiphany.

I cried “None of you people can really be trusted,
“You’re not searching for enlightenment.
“All of you people are just running a hustle,
“To try to pay the rent.”

And then a genial professor of History
Took my arm and he took me aside,
He said “I guess you’ve seen through the mystery,
“You must be very clever,” he lied.

“But did it ever occur to you, son,
“In your search for the truth to be spilled,
“If I ever really thought that you could hurt this institution
I would pay someone to have you killed.”

Because
Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.

I went out into the world to start perusing it
With my new hustle glasses on.
Suddenly, a whole lot of confusing shit
Had a clear explanation.

I saw a hustle there, a hustle here,
Everybody seemed to have at least one,
But I soon found that the people that you’ve really got to fear
Are the ones who don’t know they’ve a hustle going on.

Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.

And Jesus was a hustler
When he walked upon the water
And the money changers looked up at him
In his lonely wooden tower.

They said “When you went into that Temple, man,
“What the fuck were you thinking?
“Don’t you know that money-changing is the way we’re gonna build
The future for the children.”

But Jesus wasn’t listening,
As they worked themselves into a lather,
He was busy trying to run a telepathic hustle on his father,
Who said, “All men shall be hustlers,
“Until I tell you different, and

“Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
“You seem like a reasonable man,
“But if you fuck with my hustle,
“I will get you if I can.”

Every now and then a leader comes along,
Promising a great big change,
He seems so optimistic, he can’t be wrong,
With his sunny, sunny ways.

But before you wish him “Good luck with your career!”
Please get him to explain
Exactly whose hustle shall be fucked with here,
And whose hustle shall remain unchanged.

Are you ready to fuck with the Great Hustling Powers?
Because that is the changing test,
And if so,
Maybe they are going to greet you with flowers,
But you better get yourself a little kevlar vest.

Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.