Hustle Advisory
from Canadiana Grotesquica by Geoff Berner
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lyrics
HUSTLE ADVISORY
When I was a much younger man,
I went to the university.
I tried super-hard to understand,
Until I had a big epiphany.
I cried, “None of you people can really be trusted,
“You’re not searching for enlightenment.
“All of you people are just running a hustle,
“To try to pay the rent.”
And then a genial professor of History
Took my arm and he took me aside,
He said “I guess you’ve seen through the mystery,
You must be very clever,” he lied.
“But did it ever occur to you, son,
In your search for the truth to be spilled,
If I ever really thought that you could hurt this institution
I would pay someone to have you killed.
Because
“Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.”
I went out into the world to start perusing it
With my new hustle glasses on.
Suddenly, a whole lot of confusing shit
Had a clear explanation.
I saw a hustle there, a hustle here,
Everybody seemed to have at least one,
But I soon found that the people that you’ve really got to fear
Are the ones who don’t know they’ve a hustle going on.
Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.
And Jesus was a hustler
When he walked upon the water,
And the money changers looked up at him
In his lonely wooden tower.
They said “When you went into that Temple, man,
What the fuck were you thinking?
Don’t you know that money-changing is the way we’re gonna build
The future for the children.”
But Jesus wasn’t listening,
As they worked themselves into a lather,
He was busy trying to run a telepathic hustle on his father,
Who said, “All men shall be hustlers,
Until I tell you different, and
“Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.”
Every now and then a leader comes along,
Promising a great big change,
He seems so optimisitic, he can’t be wrong,
With his sunny, sunny ways.
But before you wish him “Good luck with your career!”
Please get him to explain
Exactly whose hustle shall be fucked with here,
And whose hustle shall remain unchanged.
Are you ready to fuck with the Great Hustling Powers?
Because that is the changing test,
And if so, Maybe they are going to greet you with flowers,
But you better get yourself a little kevlar vest.
Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.
When I was a much younger man,
I went to the university.
I tried super-hard to understand,
Until I had a big epiphany.
I cried, “None of you people can really be trusted,
“You’re not searching for enlightenment.
“All of you people are just running a hustle,
“To try to pay the rent.”
And then a genial professor of History
Took my arm and he took me aside,
He said “I guess you’ve seen through the mystery,
You must be very clever,” he lied.
“But did it ever occur to you, son,
In your search for the truth to be spilled,
If I ever really thought that you could hurt this institution
I would pay someone to have you killed.
Because
“Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.”
I went out into the world to start perusing it
With my new hustle glasses on.
Suddenly, a whole lot of confusing shit
Had a clear explanation.
I saw a hustle there, a hustle here,
Everybody seemed to have at least one,
But I soon found that the people that you’ve really got to fear
Are the ones who don’t know they’ve a hustle going on.
Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.
And Jesus was a hustler
When he walked upon the water,
And the money changers looked up at him
In his lonely wooden tower.
They said “When you went into that Temple, man,
What the fuck were you thinking?
Don’t you know that money-changing is the way we’re gonna build
The future for the children.”
But Jesus wasn’t listening,
As they worked themselves into a lather,
He was busy trying to run a telepathic hustle on his father,
Who said, “All men shall be hustlers,
Until I tell you different, and
“Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.”
Every now and then a leader comes along,
Promising a great big change,
He seems so optimisitic, he can’t be wrong,
With his sunny, sunny ways.
But before you wish him “Good luck with your career!”
Please get him to explain
Exactly whose hustle shall be fucked with here,
And whose hustle shall remain unchanged.
Are you ready to fuck with the Great Hustling Powers?
Because that is the changing test,
And if so, Maybe they are going to greet you with flowers,
But you better get yourself a little kevlar vest.
Don’t you know it’s nothing personal,
You seem like a reasonable man,
But if you fuck with my hustle,
I will get you if I can.
credits
from Canadiana Grotesquica,
released September 9, 2017
license
all rights reserved
tags
about
Geoff Berner Vancouver, British Columbia
Singer / songwriter / accordionist / novelist Geoff Berner's music combines klezmer, punk, political satire and Balkan dance rhythms. He writes sharp, literate songs that make you want to weep, laugh, grind your teeth, or kick out a window - often all at the same time. Having built a cult following with his weirdly compelling stage presence, G.B. has a strange ability to create fun chaos. ... more
discography
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Jul 2023 -
Mar 2021 -
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Sep 2017 -
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Oct 2015 -
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Jan 2009 -
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Aug 2005 -
Jan 2003 -
Jul 2017
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