What Kind of Bear Am I?
from Grand Hotel Cosmopolis by Geoff Berner
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lyrics
What Kind of Bear Am I?
You ask me, what kind of bear am I?
I hardly know myself, but I suppose I’ll try
To tell you what kind of bear am I:
They took me from the woods when I was small
Played the music, made me dance on the hot, hot, hot coal
They said I almost sounded human when I’d bleat and cry
And you ask me, what kind of bear am I?
You ask me, what kind of bear am I?
I graduated with a master’s in humanity
From the Smorgon Bear Academy
Then my master and I, we travelled here and there
Every prince and peasant loves a jaunty dancing bear
But I’m not so jaunty now, so I suppose I see why
You ask me, what kind of bear am I?
I ate my master one day and my freedom I gained
With a knife and a fork, just as I had been trained
I had to use a knife and fork just like people do
My master’d pulled all my teeth out, it made him difficult to chew.
I passed…
I passed the checkpoints in disguise, using clippers and hair dye
And you ask me, what kind of bear am I?
So now I work the tavern and we share every coin
It pays for the necessities, I can’t complain
I couldn’t live now in the woods, even if I had the chance
I serve the drinks, hear the music and I try not to dance
But sometimes I just can’t stop myself no matter how I try
And you ask me, what kind of bear am I?
Why don’t you tell me, what kind of bear am I?
(Dances)
You ask me, what kind of bear am I?
I hardly know myself, but I suppose I’ll try
To tell you what kind of bear am I:
They took me from the woods when I was small
Played the music, made me dance on the hot, hot, hot coal
They said I almost sounded human when I’d bleat and cry
And you ask me, what kind of bear am I?
You ask me, what kind of bear am I?
I graduated with a master’s in humanity
From the Smorgon Bear Academy
Then my master and I, we travelled here and there
Every prince and peasant loves a jaunty dancing bear
But I’m not so jaunty now, so I suppose I see why
You ask me, what kind of bear am I?
I ate my master one day and my freedom I gained
With a knife and a fork, just as I had been trained
I had to use a knife and fork just like people do
My master’d pulled all my teeth out, it made him difficult to chew.
I passed…
I passed the checkpoints in disguise, using clippers and hair dye
And you ask me, what kind of bear am I?
So now I work the tavern and we share every coin
It pays for the necessities, I can’t complain
I couldn’t live now in the woods, even if I had the chance
I serve the drinks, hear the music and I try not to dance
But sometimes I just can’t stop myself no matter how I try
And you ask me, what kind of bear am I?
Why don’t you tell me, what kind of bear am I?
(Dances)
credits
from Grand Hotel Cosmopolis,
released November 1, 2019
license
all rights reserved
tags
about
Geoff Berner Vancouver, British Columbia
Singer / songwriter / accordionist / novelist Geoff Berner's music combines klezmer, punk, political satire and Balkan dance rhythms. He writes sharp, literate songs that make you want to weep, laugh, grind your teeth, or kick out a window - often all at the same time. Having built a cult following with his weirdly compelling stage presence, G.B. has a strange ability to create fun chaos. ... more
discography
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Jul 2023 -
Mar 2021 -
Nov 2019 -
Sep 2017 -
Jul 2017 -
Oct 2015 -
Mar 2011 -
Jan 2009 -
Jan 2007 -
Aug 2005 -
Jan 2003 -
Jul 2017
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